More classic sketch comedy!

The scene: Bethesda courthouse. Not sure why it wasn't in Rockville, but it wasn't. Must've been at the police station.

Judge was there though.

The back story: On a nice day in April, 1976, I was racing to the U of Maryland to be on time for my English 202 Intro to World Literature, Post-Renaissance, class at 10 am.

Still early after all these years.

Not so much lately.

But as a not-yet-nineteen year old? What are you, kidding?

So I take the cut-through left onto Nairn Drive, this side of Wheaton Library, in order to miss the light at Arcola and Georgia. Always traffic on Georgia.

So, I'm moving, 40 in a 25, just past the library, over the hump and into the valley of Nairn, to the corner, where you can access the park, and BANG! Cop.

Motions me over. Asks for license and registration. Tells me to wait.

Returns. Asks, "Did you know you were going 40 mph in a 25 mph zone?"

"No sir. I'm sorry. I'm running late for school."

"Well, I'm going to have to write you a ticket nevertheless. Slow down."

Fast forward two months:

Me, in front of the judge, after the cop has confirmed: "He did say he was running late for school, your Honor."

Judge, to me: "In light of your guilty plea, what are you doing here today?"

Me, to judge: "Well, your Honor, I've heard that if you go to traffic school you can avoid a fine, and even more importantly, avoid points on your license."

Judge: "Do you honestly believe that traffic school will do you any good?"

Me: "If they show movies like Wheels of Tragedy and Mechanized Death, you bet it will!"

Many in courtroom, including judge, laugh.

Judge: "All right then, Mr Hepner, since this is your first offense, I'll waive the fine, and sentence you to traffic school. Slow down."