Actual miles . . .

So, gf and I are driving a borrowed truck in order to haul some junk to the dump.

Truck's a '91, but only has only logged 93, 300 miles.

But there is a 100,000s space on the odometer.

So I say, "You think maybe it's really 1, 000, 093, 300? It's in pretty good shape."

More Republican hijinks!

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell yesterday declared April "Secession Days," in celebration of next year's 150th Anniversary of the Civil War.

In deference to the result of that war, McDonnell also issued a proclamation changing the state's motto from "Virginia is for Lovers" to "Virginia is for Losers."

Rick Van Winkle . . .

'Scuse me. Musta dozed off . . .

Reminder: This blog is brought to you by HepCat Indstries, parent company of HepOCo Petroleum Processors.

HepOCo: Because you're gonna buy gas from somebody.

Relationships are weird...I mean, you go a year and a half without one--well, maybe you don't--not a prospect in sight, and then WHAM-O! It's prospects for miles. Five different women saying, "Call me!" And meaning it. If you know what I mean . . .

Of course, now I'm in a relationship. Which is weird, because we met on facebook. Well, that's not weird anymore.

What's funny is that this time there weren't five others clamoring for my time.

What, they're not on facebook?

Must have been the five previous girlfriends telling five others, who then told five more, etc.

That, or I'm just plain prospected out.

Thank God the current gf likes me. At least, I think she's more than a facebook friend.

Relationships . . .

Relationships are hard.

I mean, we all want that specific difference.

But after that, wouldn't it be nice if the other person would just get with the program?

I think so. These days, when my girlfriend and I make love, I have her wear the "Me" mask I made her.

It's a real win-win.

Skewing Early Bird . . .

So I'm watching the 10 o'clock news, listening really, as I'm cleaning up the kitchen. The teaser promises details about the tattoo artist to the stars: Britney, JT, Tim McGraw.

I think JT is James Taylor.

Right. And Taylor is Elizabeth.

The real reason those RNC operatives were at Voyeur . . .

Patron: Where are the explorers in red caps, toting canoes?

Waitress: What do you mean sir?

Patron: Isn't this Voyageurs?

The Straw that stirs the drink . . .

After the men's team, "Rock Solid" lost last night on Celebrity Apprentice, Darryl Strawberry volunteered to be fired, taking one for the team.

Apparently, Blagojevich gave him the "steal" sign.